There are, however, a few essential things that must be done before posting recruitment fliers. By and large, law enforcement still has a bad reputation for being homophobic and unwelcoming of out gay people, especially gay men. While this may not be a fair generalization, it is nevertheless the current reality. Agencies can begin to change this perception by taking a few key actions.

1. Prospective LGBT applicants want to know that their employment is protected from discrimination based on their sexual orientation. This requires at the very least a published discrimination policy inclusive of sexual orientation and gender identity, a local ordinance, or ideally a state law.

2. Applicants can be made to feel welcome and encouraged to apply to an agency that also includes LGBT people in it’s mission statement or values. The Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department offers an ideal model statement that includes not tolerating homophobia within its organization. Agency leaders should include LGBT in the same conversations that appreciate race, nationality, ethnicity, and gender.

3. Agency executives must demonstrate a sincere desire to recruit “out” LGBT employees. This desire must be communicated clearly and regularly through the ranks to those individual employees charged with recruiting and hiring new employees. This also means that everyone involved in the hiring process, including background investigators and psychologists, must be committed to this effort. Homophobia can be hidden in biased decision making that weeds-out LGBT applicants for reasons not connected to sexual orientation.

Once these initial organizational changes are made, recruiters will have the tools they need to go out into the community and target LGBT populations.

The initial recruitment effort will involve changing the stereotype about law enforcement’s lack of interest and support for LGBT employees. This is done simply by talking with LGBT groups, sharing the agency policies and practices described above, and showing a sincere interest in attracting qualified LGBT people. Ideally, existing LGBT law enforcement employees will serve as live role models and as evidence that an LGBT person can be successful in the agency.

Like all other targeted recruitment efforts, recruitment should include high schools, colleges, and community events. For the recruitment of LGBT applicants, recruiters should seek out high school gay straight alliance groups, LGBT youth centers, and high school gay student clubs. These groups can typically be found by searching the Internet or by contact the local LGBT center. Visit these groups and talk about law enforcement career opportunities. Speak directly about the organization’s desire to have “out” LGBT employees.

Another excellent place to recruit is a local and regional gay pride festivals. Invest in a both and have personnel there just like you would for any other type of community event. Have informational fliers that speak specifically about the organization’s desire to hire “out” LGBT employees and include evidence that the work place is safe from discrimination based on sexual orientation. Remember that it make take a few times to be present at these events before perceptions change, so be persistent. A regular presence and consistent message will create the change in perception needed to attract LGBT applicants.

There are a variety of LGBT publications in which agencies could consider advertising career opportunities. For example, in the California Bay Area, the Bay Area Reporter and North Bay Bohemian both reach large LGBT populations. The Advocate is a national magazine that could reach a very broad audience. There are also many LGBT law enforcement associations that would share career opportunities. Click on Organizations at the top of this page for links to the ones we know about.

It really is as simple as reaching out to the LGBT community and talking sincerely about wanting to include LGBT people into the ranks of law enforcement. Actions of course speak louder than words, so take advantage of every opportunity to fly the agency’s rainbow flag. Participate and be visible in LGBT community events and venues. And finally, reach out for help and suggestions. We are happy to help agencies with more specific questions. Click on Contact Us at the top of this page and send us a note with your questions.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Dd3f7U1iCk

This show was hosted and produced by Greg Miraglia exclusively for KRCB Radio, a public broadcasting station in Santa Rosa, California.

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First of all, as an “out” LGBT person, you need to consider seriously where you want to work and if you are willing to go back into the closet in order to get and maintain a job. This may at first seem like a sacrifice you are willing to make in order to get in to law enforcement, but you need to really consider the risks and long term implications of making such a sacrifice. Here is the important question: Are you willing to sacrifice happiness in your personal life for potential happiness in your professional life? Is it possible to realize happiness professionally, without happiness personally? I would say most likely it is not.

The reality today is that law enforcement is evolving, ever so slowly, in its acceptance of LGBT employees. As more law enforcement professionals come out at work, the law enforcement culture will evolve as it did when women entered the ranks of patrol officers some 40 years ago. Do you homework and do your best to fine a department that is likely to be accepting and even valuing of LGBT employees. Check out your state’s employment protection laws, city ordinances, and department policies to see if any or all include protection based on sexual orientation and or gender identity. If they do not include such protections, there is, of course, a greater risk of being disqualified or “legally” fired if your chief or sheriff doesn’t accept your sexual orientation or gender identity.

Now to the real question. In states where employment protection exists, it would not be likely that you would be asked about your sexual orientation during the initial selection process. In fact, it might be unlikely that anyone would ask you directly at any point during the hiring process. It will, however, come up indirectly at several points during the background investigation including the pre-investigation interview and during the psychological interview.

Every state has different regulations and different levels of detail that are considered during the background investigation. I’m most familiar with California’s process and believe it to be fairly comprehensive, so I will provide advice based on the process I know. California has very inclusive employment protection that includes sexual orientation and gender identity. It is not permissible to ask about either aspect of identity during an initial interview, so there is no need to offer up anything you are not comfortable discussing.

The background investigation includes a comprehensive personal history questionnaire, an investigation that includes interviews with most people close in your life, such as family members, spouses, roommates, employers, and work colleagues. It also includes a psychological evaluation, medical exam, and could include a polygraph or voice stress analysis interview. The first point at which you will have a decision to make about disclosing your sexual orientation is likely the personal history questionnaire. You will be asked to identify everyone you have lived with over the last ten years, people you have had a close relationship with and who you have married (and that could include domestic partners). You will need to provide names, addresses, and telephone numbers. So why not just identify your same-sex partner as “a roommate?” You could do that and probably get away with it unless you live in a one-room apartment. And yes, you can expect the background investigator to visit in person to see where and how you live.  The risk here is being perceived as deceitful, evasive, and or that you are hiding something, which in this example would be true.

Here is the more important consideration. Sexual orientation and gender identity are both protected classes in California, but an act of dishonesty is not. Being dishonest in any aspect of your background investigation is absolutely a legitimate reason to disqualify someone even if the subject of that dishonesty is sexual orientation or gender identity. And once you document a lie in one background investigation, you will likely never recover from it because future background investigations will include looking at past personal history questionnaires. Law enforcement agencies have no tolerance for lies, so don’t do it even if it means having to “out” yourself.

The background investigation usually starts with a meeting between the applicant and the background investigator. This interview involves going through the personal history questionnaire line by line. Be prepared to answer questions about personal relationships, who you have or are dating, and who you are living with. Background investigators consider a failure to disclose as an act of dishonesty, so it’s not just about being accurate, it’s about answering questions completely. Keep in mind that everything you include in the personal history questionnaire will be verified by the background investigator through interviews with the people closest in your life.

The next phase of the process where you will likely encounter questions that would lead to your sexual orientation would be the psychological exam. It’s perfectly normal and expected that you would be asked about your dating relationships, marriages, and other related topics as this phase of the hiring process is designed to be sure you are mentally stable and prepared to be a law enforcement officer. Being even perceived as dishonest in the psychological exam will likely result in you not being recommended for hire.

I heard recently from a new officer who happens to be gay about how he handled his sexual orientation during a hiring process that I think is perhaps an ideal example. This applicant was “out” at the time he applied for a position as a deputy sheriff with an agency that has never before employed an “out” deputy. In fact, this applicant would become the first “out” male law enforcement officer in the county’s history. The agency has a perceived reputation of being homophobic and very conservative. He made it through the background investigation and psychological exam. The last step was an interview with the under-sheriff, a captain, and a lieutenant. Now, I can tell you he was concerned about how it would all go, especially about his sexual orientation, but he approached the interview with total confidence. This applicant had been a cadet with a neighboring agency. The last question he was asked was why he wanted to work for the sheriff’s department and not the agency where he served as a cadet. The applicant responded with something like, “well I think the other agency would have a problem with my sexual orientation, but I know it won’t be a problem here.” He looked each of the interviewers directly in the eye as he said this and at that moment demonstrated that this “secret” was no secret and would have no power against him. He demonstrated confidence and comfort with himself and made it known that his being gay was not an issue.  Granted this applicant was applying for an agency in a state with full employment protection, but by putting the agency on notice, he not only took away any question, he insulated himself from potential discrimination right up front. In his particular case, I think this was a brilliant move.

Now if, for whatever reason, you don’t end up coming out formally during the hiring process, plan ahead for how you are going to handle the normal types of questions about your personal life that you will encounter once hired and on the job. As would likely occur in any job, your co-workers will want to get to know you, so answering the “normal” questions about what did on your weekend or if you are married or seeing anyone should be expected. Of course, you can ignore the questions or brush them off, but of course, the risk then is being labeled as a “non-team player” or someone who doesn’t fit in will go way up. Ultimately, you will have to decide for yourself how to respond, but in all cases don’t lie. Don’t create a fictitious opposite gender friend or spouse, because at some point and place, someone from your work place will see you out with your true partner and then your lie will be discovered. Rumors will then spread about you and you risk being labeled as dishonest. The question for you is which would play out as a worst case? Coming out as gay or being labels as dishonest?

So to the original question of when you should come in the hiring process? Clearly it’s a personal decision, but my recommendation is to be yourself – your real self. Respond to the many questions you will face honestly and openly. You don’t need to volunteer information you are not comfortable with, but don’t deny who you are, don’t lie, and don’t hide anything. In the end, you won’t truly be happy working for an organization that is homophobic or un-accepting of gay people, so if you are eliminated in the hiring process because you are LGBT, then so be it. There are a growing number of professional law enforcement organizations out there who will embrace this aspect of your identity.

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One of the intimidating parts of coming out, especially if someone comes out later in life, is where to meet people and how to start dating. If you consider that LGBT people make up on 10% of the total population with an even lower percentage of LGBT who are “out,” it might feel like slim pickings. Let me assure you, there are plenty of good gay men and women out there for you to meet. The real question is how to get started.

The most important thing about entering the dating scene is to be your true self. What I mean by that is be who you are at whatever point in life you happen to be. If you are 50 years old and just came out, be 50 and don’t worry about whether or not you will be attractive to someone else. I can assure you, there are men out there of all ages who are searching for you. If you are 50 and are attracted to younger guys, there are younger guys who are attracted to older men. Avoid going through a mid-life crisis and feeling like you have to act and dress like you are 20. Just be you and put yourself out there as you are.

Now of course, you might feel like you could loose a few pounds or spruce up your wardrobe before diving into the LGBT social scene and that’s fine. Exercise is good for everyone and so if your body image motivates you to get in shape, more power to you. Just don’t make yourself into something you are not. Now, for where to start…

I’m a huge fan of online dating sites. Aside from meeting my partner on one, I think they are a great place, especially when you are new to the dating scene, to meet people in a low-risk and comfortable situation. You can talk with people to see who might have something in common without having to deal with crowds, noise, and alcohol. It’s a great opportunity to break the ice, talk about attitudes, experiences, and what you are looking for with minimal risk. Of course, there are online dating sites of all kinds, some of which cater to hook-ups more than long-term relationships. There are even apps for your mobile device, like Grinder and Scruff, that will help you locate others like you while on the road. In my opinion. Gay.Com is still the best online dating site for those looking for more than a one-time 20-minute date.

Gay.com was just completely revised this month and now offers more of a community feel to its website. You can create a profile that certainly includes your sexual interests, but that also includes a lot more of what others might be looking for in a potential partner. You can enter as much or as little information about yourself as you wish and the good news is that you can get online and try it for no cost. Of course, for the additional features, you will need to purchase a subscription, but in my mind, it’s worth it.

Online dating does come with its own set of risks and I always remind people to use your common sense when meeting other people in person for the first time. I know it make shock you, but some people don’t use their real picture in an online profile. I can tell you from experience that I was only disappointed once by someone who I met who was clearly not the person they represented themselves to be in a picture. The other basics around online dating include always meeting in a public place for the first time. Don’t provide any personal identifying data online that could subject you to identity theft and don’t share your home address until after you meet and feel comfortable.

Whether you are “out” or not, there is no reason to feel alone this Valentines Day. There are lots of people out there looking for all kinds of relationships, from friendships to a spouse. Take a chance and go online and look around. You might just be the one someone else has been looking for there entire life.

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It’s well known that the Boy Scouts of American organization prohibits openly gay people from participating at any level in their organization. What makes the exercise of this policy in this particular case especially gross is that Ryan had been a successful participant in their program since first joining as a cub scout. He progressed through the scouting ranks and completed his Eagle Scout project all under the direction, supervision, and evaluation of Scout Leadership. But then he came out as gay and all of a sudden all that Ryan had accomplished was no longer to be recognized. In fact, Fenoglio cited the specific reason for the denial of Eagle Scout honors was because Ryan is gay. This is open discrimination at its very worst. Ryan was gay throughout his time in the Boy Scouts and it was only after this discovery was he denied access to the achievement he earned.

I was a Cub Scout and even earned the rank of Webelo Scout. I started my law enforcement career as a Police Explorer Scout all the while I was gay.

The Boy Scouts of American website describes itself on their own website as follows:

“Scouting is a values-based program with its own code of conduct. The Scout Oath and Law help instill the values of good conduct, respect for others, and honesty. Scouts learn skills that will last a lifetime, including basic outdoor skills, first aid, citizenship skills, leadership skills, and how to get along with others. For almost a century, Scouting has instilled in young men the values and knowledge that they will need to become leaders in their communities and country.

The Scout Oath states:

“On my honor I will do my best To do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law; To help other people at all times; To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight. A Scout is …trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent.”

In both their values statement and oath, “honesty” is required. Ryan could have continued to hide or even lie about his sexual orientation, but then the Scouts could have terminated his participation and or denied his Eagle Scout status based on dishonesty. There is also mention of citizenship which you would assume includes understanding, respecting, and following the “laws of the land” including the United States Constitution. The 14th Amendment provides for equal protection under the law meaning that all people are equal and entitled to the same rights and opportunities as anyone else is. Why doesn’t the Boy Scouts of American practice what they preach?

Aside from the obvious hypocrisy, the policy and practice of the Boy Scouts of America to exclude successful participants only after discovering their sexual orientation is deplorable and hateful.

So how does this all apply to law enforcement? Well if your department has an “Explorer Program,” then you are a participant of a Boy Scouts of America program. This means that your department and its participants are subject to the same types of openly discriminatory policies and practices as Ryan and that many other openly gay people have experienced with the Boy Scouts. Even if your law enforcement agency has policies in place that prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation, the Boy Scouts could exert their authority over that policy since an “Explorer Post” is a program of the Boy Scouts. Aside from the harm that could come to your colleagues involved in the program as well as to the young participants, what does it say to your community that your law enforcement agency is affiliated with an organization that continues to openly discriminate against a class of people. Here we are in law enforcement, charged with the duty of protecting and defending the Constitutional Rights of all, knowingly engaged with discriminatory practices by an organization with a long history of open discrimination.

I continue to be appalled by the actions of the Boy Scouts of America and urge all public safety agencies that operate an Explorer Program to replace it with something that is not affiliated with the Boy Scouts of America. The Los Angeles Police Department did exactly this and created a Cadet Program after divorcing themselves from the Boy Scouts of America and their discriminatory policies. In fact, LAPD cited the Boy Scouts of American policy of prohibiting LGBT participants as the reason for the change and they are better for it. This move communicated an important message not only to the participants in their Cadet Program but to the citizens of Los Angeles.

Even the United States military has been freed from such discriminatory practices with the demise of “don’t ask, don’t tell.” It seems to me that the Boy Scouts of America would cite common values and similarities with the military and with law enforcement. Indeed many of the students I see coming through the police academy have prior experience with the Boy Scouts. I suspect Boy Scout leaders would be proud to have their members pursue careers in service careers such that law enforcement and the military offer. So why don’t they get in step with law enforcement and the military and start reflecting in their policies and practices what they claim in their values. Until then, we will not support any aspect of the Boy Scouts of America and will continue to speak out against them and their discriminatory practices. For the victims of discrimination by the Boy Scouts of America, such as Ryan Andresen, who might consider a career in law enforcement, we will stand by you and support you with opportunities such as our Out To Protect Scholarship.

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For yourself, be it resolved to live a truly authentic life. If you are still in the closet with your sexual orientation, make this year the one you come out. It’s time! I can speak from personal experience, the amount of stress caused for a law enforcement officer when you lie about who you really are can be overwhelming. It has a directly impact on your health and well being. Dishonesty in law enforcement is the worst kind of unethical behavior; well all know that. Being dishonest with your co-workers every Monday when you are asked about what you did over the weekend, talking about an opposite sex partner who doesn’t exist, and living a double-life is simply wrong. Stop the lies and stop denying yourself the happiness you are entitled to. Make 2013 your year to come out and to be your true self. There are plenty of lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, and transgender people working very successfully in law enforcement who are out and ready to help and support you. Reach out for advice if you need it, but don’t let another year go by. Times have changed for the better and I truly believe the law enforcement profession would rather have you “out” and honest than closeted and living a lie.

Doing for others, be it resolved to do something to further the fight for equality and to support the LGBT community. Going back to the first resolution, one of the best ways to make things better in law enforcement for LGBT people is to come out. Trust me, I’ve seen it in departments throughout the country, when LGBT people come out, the agency culture changes. It may not be immediate or without some bumps along the way, but others before you have proven it. Coming out and telling your story is the most effective way of changing the hearts and minds of the homophobes out there. For those of you who are already out, be a role model. If you are the first out LGBT person in your department, remember the responsibility to carry for those who will come after you.  Be a mentor.  This doesn’t mean you have to waive the rainbow flag in everyone’s face, but stand tall and do your job well. Be authentic always and use every opportunity you get to have conversation with your colleagues, supervisors, and community members about being L,G,B, or T in law enforcement as a way to educate and open minds.

Related to this, make a resolution to do something for the betterment of the LGBT community. There are so many possibilities, but pick at least one that matches your passion. Some amazing people have been fighting the fight to get you and I where we are today. The civil rights we do have weren’t just given to us and every gay person out there has a responsibility to do their part. But it doesn’t mean you have to go to a protest, a march, or become an activist. Join an organization, make a contribution (donate money!), or if you feel so inclined, become a volunteer. There are hundreds of legitimate non-profit organizations out there doing work for you to make life as an LGBT person better. Pick one and support it. If you don’t like the large-scale national organizations and prefer a grass-roots effort, then look within your local community. Find an organization that supports LGBT youth, a high school or middle school GSA, an HIV/AIDS support organization, or a local human rights effort.

Most of all, make 2013 your year! In all that you do every day to help others, make sure you take good care of yourself. Treat yourself well and really consider all that is good in your life first before dwelling on the problems. We all have things we wish were better, but spending time feeling sorry for yourself or stuck thinking about what you don’t have or can’t have isn’t going to get you happiness. Remember, you can’t be good to others unless you are first good to yourself.

Happy New Year! Be safe out there always.

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I don’t expect the same welcomes for the duration of my career. I know that at times my sexuality will hinder the way I work with other people. I’m not trying to be negative when I say that – I’ve just got my eyes opened enough to be aware of the realities of this world. At the same time I’m not going to try and let those situations bring me down. It’s hard being a young and gay Police Officer in a line of work that is traditionally so macho. Some people may and will judge your ability to do the work – I think it’s important to just put your head down and show them you can do it, just like anyone else.

1.  How did you become interested in law enforcement, firefighting, or the EMS profession?

I’ve always wanted a career where you could go home feeling like you’ve made some change for the good. Not once have I associated sexuality or masculinity with this line of work. I don’t think gender, age, race, sex or any factors should influence someone’s interest in Law Enforcement.

2.  When did you discover you were gay, lesbian, or bi-sexual and what did you think about relative to your interest in law enforcement, firefighting or EMS?

I knew that I was definitely gay by the time I was 16. The years leading up (from about 13-15) or ‘puberty’ as you may want to call it were confusing but I never said to myself “I’m gay” until about 16.

I would be lying if I said that I’ve never doubted my ability to work well in law enforcement because of my sexuality. I think the key to being successful and having a healthy career is to not let who you are affect what you do. Prior to joining, there would be times (many times) where I would think to myself that my sexuality would always potentially have a bearing on my ability to do the job. Perhaps it’s moreso the way I could work and get along with people.

Law Enforcement is a job where communication with colleagues is very important. If ever you encounter a colleague who has an issue with your sexuality there is no doubt it would affect the way you are able to do your job.

3.  Describe your experience getting hired and going through your training academy.  Were you out?  Did you come out during the academy?

I only came out to a selected few close friends during the academy. I did not make myself completely out mainly due to the fact that I knew the academy would eventually be over. I wanted to focus on my studies at the academy. I felt that it just wasn’t necessary to be out at that point. Getting hired was no issue. Progression from the academy to employment is basically automatic in Australia.

4.  What was it like starting off in your department?  Did you come out?  If not, what kept you, or is currently keeping you from coming out at work?

I’ve never come out without any sort of initiation on someone else’s part. I do not advertise the fact that I’m gay. I also do not hide it when asked whether or not I have a partner or ‘girlfriend’.

5.  Describe your most difficult situation being gay in your public safety profession.

Not being able to actively participate in certain conversations. As much as my colleagues have expressed their acceptance towards me, sometimes I still feel as though we are not on the same page.

I know that sexuality does not define a person but I still feel as though I don’t get along with some people as much as I know I could if I were a straight male. For example, conversations about girls or a wife and kids. I don’t hold it against them, the majority of the workplace are straight guys and I am sure if I were a straight guy I would be talking about the same thing. There is just some conversation that a gay male cannot genuinely relate to.

6.  What specific event or general experience surprised you most about being gay in your profession.

The acceptance. People’s willingness to be open and accept you I am. I honestly expected to face a lot of issues early on in my career. There’s not much more I can say to that.

7.  What, if anything, would you have done differently relative to being gay in your profession?
Nothing.

8.  One of the important goals of this book is to help fellow gay law enforcement officers, firefighters, and EMS professionals and their allies.  What advice can you provide to the following people?

If you feel that the satisfaction you get from performing your duties in your line of work far outweighs the potential hiccups along the way because of your sexuality, keep doing it.

Sometimes problems will come about. If this is what you want to do then just focus on the work.

8A.  A gay teenager who is thinking about the best way to get into your public safety profession.

Do everything it at your own pace. Do what you want when you’re ready. Nobody forces you to do anything in this life.

8B.  A fellow public safety professional who is gay, but not out to anyone at work.

Do everything it at your own pace. Do what you want when you’re ready. Nobody forces you to do anything in this life. When it gets too hard, seek help. There are people out there who care – don’t ever forget that.

8C.  An agency executive or manager who is an ally and wants to support gay public safety professionals.

Support is always good. It helps move things forward in this society that sometimes struggles to excel.

9.  What else would you like to say that you feel is most important for readers to know about you or your ideas?

Being gay is never easy whether you’re in Law Enforcement, Firefighting, Medical Services, or even in the corporate world. There is always potential for problems.

10.  Is there anything else you would like to add?

I’ve said everything that I’ve wanted to say. I hope that I’ve had some influence.

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“Coming Out From Behind The Badge” book author Greg Miraglia said, “Chiefs and sheriffs play a key role in removing homophobia within their departments.  Law enforcement executives set the tone and are responsible for establishing agency values including the full support and acceptance of employees who happen to be lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.  What Chief Moore has done will hopefully relieve some of the fear facing closeted employees and enable them to come out and to be themselves at work.”

Here is what the memo said:

This memorandum is designed to create awareness of National Coming Out Day (NCOD) which is celebrated annually on October 11. NCOD is an internationally observed day celebrating individuals who publicly identify themselves as lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT).  This day is used to celebrate coming out and to raise awareness of the LGBT community and civil rights movement.

The San Jose Police Department has a well-established tradition as a leader in law enforcement. Part of that reputation includes being recognized as a department that understands the values of being a diverse organization and one that represents all facets of the community it serves. This includes members of the LGBT communities in the Department.

The Department recognizes the difficulties faced by individuals who have felt they would not be encouraged or supported if they “came out.” Additional stress and anguish can result from hiding a person’s sexual orientation. As a progressive organization, the department encourages members to be who they are and to understand that your sexual orientation will not interfere with promotional considerations, assignment selections or professional relationships within the organization.

These are difficult times for all members of the Department. Department members are encouraged to embrace National Coming Out Day with the understanding that they will be supported by the rest of the Department.

Christopher M. Moore
Chief of Police

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZ8IepnlEqs

Law enforcement has the duty to serve everyone in the community. To do that well, we believe the rank and file should reflect the community, including the LGBT people.

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I’ve written a great deal about coming out and won’t repeat the volumes I’ve already said about the importance of sharing who you are with those who care about you and those who work with you.  It continues to be the best way of changing the minds of hearts of those homophobic people out there who simply haven’t taken the time to know and understand LGBT people.  In law enforcement, we continue to struggle, but because more officers are coming out, we are making progress.

The officers in these videos have stepped up and share their stories with the intent of giving hope to young people that “it does get better.”  I think their message is equally valuable and meaningful for closeted LGBT law enforcement personnel.

And if these videos don’t inspire you enough to make this the year you come out, I offer the stories contained in our books as even more incentive.  Both books contain stories of successful “out” LGBT members of law enforcement.  They also both contain advice about how to come out.  In honor of National Coming Out Day, I offer the set to you with a discount applicable at the time of sale for orders made through our book store this month.  Simply enter the code NCOD2012 during check out to get 20% off the total purchase price of either the softcover or hardcover book set.  I’ll sign both books and send them out to you via 3-day USPS Priority Mail Service.

Finally, we are here to support you.  If you click on Coming Out at the top of his page, you can send us a note with any question you have.  We have a team of LGBT officers who are just waiting for you.  So what are you waiting for?

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The Chief decided to start at the top of the organization by starting a conversation with his command staff.  He set up a meeting and brought together a panel of gay male law enforcement personnel including the courageous officer I mentioned above, Lt. Pete Thoshinsky (featured in our second book), Chief Chris Magnus from the Richmond, California Police Department, and me.  We started the session by sharing our own stories and thought about how the law enforcement culture can keep closeted officers from coming out.  We discussed the words people use, homophobic remarks, and the importance of simply acknowledging that in a department of over 1000 sworn personnel, there is certainly more than one gay male officer out there.  Following our panel conversation, we broke up into groups and talked with 15 or so command staff members and allowed them to ask questions.

What I found most interesting is that many of the command staff members had never considered this problem and was surprised that this was an issue.  I replied back with, “exactly our point.”  Some didn’t understand why sexual orientation was even an issue – why it matters in the work place.  I posed this question.  “What is the typical conversation between two officers when first meeting on a Monday or first day back to work?  It goes something like this  Hey, what did you do this weekend?  Oh, I took my wife shopping or my girlfriend and I went to the movies.”  Straight people “come out” as straight all the time.  For the closeted gay officer, there is a choice when answering this same question.  The officer can lie or he can simply deny doing anything of mention over the weekend.  Putting an officer in the position of telling a lie to their peers creates an inordinate amount of stress and isn’t fair to anyone.  They got it.  One attendee said, “that really hit home with me.  I get it now.”

The session lasted about 2 hours and we heard many positive comments.  Still, some didn’t understand why this kind of time was being spent on an invisible problem while others simply didn’t believe homophobia exists in their department.  But the next day after this training, our colleague got a call from an officer who attended that training and was asked to meet.  After spending this entire life in the closet, the officer came out… for the first time ever to our colleague.  After hearing our conversations and seeing the commitment from the Chief and others, he decided now was the time that he could finally share who he is with the world.

I applaud Chief Moore for demonstrating that the agency executive does have the ability to set the tone for the department.  A chief can make a real difference and, at least for one officer that we know of, did.  Time will tell if the command staff members attending take what we said to heart and work to create a more accepting work place for LGBT personnel.  My belief is that if they simply use inclusive language when speaking about who in the organization is valued, LGBT personnel will hear it and that will be the next set to ridding the department of whatever homophobia exists.  Chief Moore will be retiring this coming January, but I know at least one of the significant marks he will leave behind that has made his agency a better place for everyone.

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“It was always a part of my vision for the books.  The stories in both books were intended to inspire closeted LGBT personnel to come out and to show LGBT youth that a career in law enforcement is possible no matter your sexual orientation.  The Out To Protect Scholarship Program will help LGBT students with their expenses and reward them for being “out” role models” Miraglia said.

The Out To Protect Scholarship Program is the only national scholarship program of its kind.  The program is funded entirely by private donations.  Anyone can donate to the scholarship fund and know that 90% of every donated dollar goes directly to a scholarship award.  Everyone associated with Out To Protect is a volunteer, so the cost of the program is minimal.  Miraglia said, “I know many law enforcement officers are looking for a way to give back to the profession.  For LGBT law enforcement personnel, I can’t think of a more meaningful and effective way to give back than to support a future member of the profession and role model for the LGBT community.  I hope that by donating all of the royalties from my two books I can encourage others to give to this important program.”

Making a donation can be done safely and easily online via the Out To Protect Website at www.outtoprotect.org.  Donations can be made in any single amount or on a monthly basis via subscription.

Click Here To Learn More

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“Researchers from Eastern Michigan University, in collaboration with the Michigan Project for Informed Public, Policy, the Michigan Gay Officers Action League and Law Enforcement Gays and Lesbians International, with input from the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, are looking for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) law enforcement, public safety, corrections and criminal justice professionals to participate in an online research study. This groundbreaking international study will survey LGBT professionals to better understand how gender and sexual orientation factors may affect how these professionals experience their work environments. The study will also examine how such identities are associated with feelings of job satisfaction and support, and overall emotional health. Participants will be asked to complete a series of on-line questionnaires on various topics relating to their experiences as an LGBT professional employee.  A large and representative respondent sample is needed to produce reliable and valid survey data.  Researchers hope to capture a wide variety of professional classifications, representing various areas of the country and world, urban and rural, and from all sizes of communities and jurisdictions. To participate in the survey, visit www.mi-goal.com.

For more information, contact Michael Evitts at mevitts@emich.edu; or Stephen Jefferson at sjeffer2@emich.edu. Please share this opportunity with your LGBT public safety colleagues.”

Click Here To Complete The Survey

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As a “mainstream, black, male artist in hip-hop…” revealing such a detail could mean the end of an otherwise highly successful music career.  Why?  Because “admitting you are anything but heterosexual and ultra-masculine in hip-hop normally equates to career suicide…”

There are several aspects of identity in play here that make Frank’s story unique.  The first is that he is an African-American male and the second is that he is a hip-hop artist.  Historically, both cultures have not tolerated at all non-heterosexualities.  And the same stereotypes about gay people are at play in law enforcement – being other than heterosexual means you are less masculine and therefore not as capable (or completely incapable) of performing as a police officer.  ”For some in the black community, masculinity and gay are an impossible pairing.”  The same is clearly true in law enforcement, except in the still dominantly white profession, being white would not necessarily make it easier for a gay police officer to be accepted.

What I found most profound in reading about Ocean’s coming out is how he chose to write about it in his blog.  ”…he never used the words ‘gay’ or ‘bisexual.’ The New Orleans native only described love between two people.  His choice of language was paramount: Sexual orientation must be acknowledged beyond the labels and above the groin. For many in the LGBT community, our understanding of sexual identity was not the first time we had sex, but the first time we experienced a heart-shaking kiss, the first time we waited all day for a phone call from that special person or the first time we fell in love.”

“Why is this news?  Because sadly, even today, being gay is still a revolutionary act.  Ocean’s “coming out” is plastered on every site from Gawker to BET to TMZ.  No man before him has been anything but proudly hetero in this genre of music, especially on a major label.”  I think the same is true in the vast majority of law enforcement agencies around the country. There is no doubt that the first person to come out, especially in a small department, is “big news.”  And like Frank’s story will be for hip-hop, so that first gay officer will be for the agency.  Like many closeted gay police officers, to date, Frank Ocean has been very successful with a large fan base.  He is apparently well respected by his hip-hop music peers and like every closeted officer who comes out, he is still the same person he was before coming out.  He still has the same talents, skills, and abilities – being gay doesn’t change any of that, so why would we suddenly consider someone less capable now that we know?

“Frank Ocean admitting his sexual fluidity will not ruin his career. There will be a reward for his honesty.  Living in his truth will make the doors swing open like they never did before.  More people know his name than they did before Independence Day. Sure, the walk will not be easy.  Ocean will be thrown into the spotlight for all things gay and hip-hop.  He will be pigeonholed as the gay songwriter; it’s a heavy burden and all eyes will be watching.”

Gay cops who come out, especially those who are the first in their departments, do carry an extra burden as they defy stereotypes and have to re-prove their capabilities of performing the law enforcement job, but this is how hearts and minds are truly changed.  Homophobia is best defeated through personal experience knowing and working with a person who happens to be gay and seeing first hand that they are the same person they were before coming out.  The reward for this courageous move is happiness and relief from the burden carrying a lie on your shoulders creates over time.  It’s the chance to be happy at work and at home.  And isn’t this what we all want?

Click here to read the entire Huffington Post article about Frank Ocean.

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An aspiring law enforcement officer who has been affiliated with a department from a young age recently came out and had the courage to share his sexuality with trusted mentors. He described the experience as being one of the most difficult things he has ever done in his life. He told me that he feared losing his valued mentor and being excluded from a job in the career he so loved. At first, his mentor seemed accepting, but after word got out in the department about this young applicant, the mentor’s tune changed quickly. He told the young man who looked up to him, I know you were “turned gay” by someone and if you want to work in “this” department, you need to not be gay. This came from someone who supposedly loves this young man like a son. The mentor went on to claim that even the agency executives advised that he shouldn’t chose to be gay if he wants to work for the department. Keep in mind that this is in a state with broad and inclusive employment protection that specifically prohibits discrimination in hiring and employment based on sexual orientation. This is a law enforcement agency, the entity we depend on to protect our Constitutional Rights and to enforce the law, openly representing that they would not accept a gay applicant. Of course, the applicant could pursue a complaint and a law suit, but we all know that would still result in his not being hired. What dumbfounds me is the notion that law enforcement officers with even a basic education could, today, possibly still think another person can “make” someone gay. Really? If you are one of those straight people who believes this, think about it for just a few minutes. Could you imagine someone having the influence and ability to “turn you” gay?  Your sexuality is not a choice. Straight or gay, it is how you were born. No one can make anyone gay.  And if you feel that when someone comes out to you on their own accord that somehow as the recipient of this information you are responsible for “turning them gay,” all I can say is that you could not be more wrong.  I thought there was enough exposure out there to have moved us passed this ignorance, but apparently we still need more education and discussion.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJtjqLUHYoY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NarI0URhWg0

For those of you in the know, like me, you are probably questioning the continued value of this mentor in this young person’s life. That is not for anyone to determine except this young man. The real problem here is that we have a law enforcement agency operating out there with a culture that has openly rejected someone who was acceptable growing up as a teen while perceived to be straight, but who is now unwelcome now that he has come out as gay. It might be easy to say, “well just go apply somewhere else… there are plenty of departments who accept gay officers.” And while that may become this young man’s destiny, it doesn’t make it right nor does it make it at all acceptable. Law enforcement agencies like the one in this story desperately need strong leadership and lots of training and exposure to alleviate this ignorance and liability. As citizens, we have a right to expect that officers who show up to serve us have at least this basic understanding of humanity. I can’t imagine calling 9-1-1 and have someone so homophobic, judgmental and ignorant show up in my time of need.

What this story has reminded me of is that homophobia continues to be a pervasive and destructive force in law enforcement. There is still much work to be done and it will take the kind of courage the young man in this story has shown to create an awareness and a subsequent discussion about gay people that already exist within our ranks. It will also take communities stepping up and not tolerating this kind of attitude and ignorance from those who are paid to serve, especially those in law enforcement; it is simply unacceptable. I applaud agencies like Portland Police Department and Seattle Police Department for publishing just this month their own “It Gets Better” videos. This is a strong message to those agencies who lag way behind that we are here in 2012, not 1972.

Seriously… do you really think you can make someone gay?

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u62OtM_vt5k

We could certainly choose be bitter about a lot of issues and setbacks this year including the fact that the majority of states now have constitutional amendments prohibiting marriage equality.  We are still loosing young people to suicide because of the rejection they experience from their families and the bullying they suffer at school.  The courts seem to be moving at less than a snail’s pace on the appeal of California’s Proposition 8 despite a ruling from a federal district judge saying clearly that Prop 8 is unconstitutional.  We don’t yet have employment protection in most states preventing the wrongful termination of an employee simply because of who they are.  Yes, we still have a long way to go, but I ask you all to consider what we have achieved this year and to be proud of who you are, especially during this season of gay pride.

This year we will once again be marching in the San Francisco Pride Parade with our colleagues from the San Francisco Police Department’s Pride Alliance.  While we still have a lot of homophobia to fight within law enforcement, I’m particularly proud of the fact that two officers from two other Bay Area police departments who have never marched before have been given enthusiastic support from their chiefs to march in full uniform.  They will represent their departments proudly for the first time in the pride parade.  Joining us will be one of my police academy students who came out to his class, in front of his class, and received and standing ovation of support.  These are the victories you won’t read about in the national news, but are the ones that are a great sign that change is happening.

If you have never participated in a pride celebration because you are not out, I challenge you to step out and experience what gay pride is all about.  Go as a spectator.  There is something amazing about walking among hundreds and thousands of other people who are just like you. Find a pride celebration near you and check it out.  I hope the collective enthusiasm and energy encourages you to hide no longer and to make this the year you come out.  We are all waiting for you.  Happy Pride 2012!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMI7TMbV2yY

Need more reasons to have pride, check out The Advocate magazine’s 181 reasons to have pride in 2012.

181 Reasons To Have Pride – Part 1
181 Reasons To Have Pride – Part 2
181 Reasons To Have Pride – Part 3

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Law enforcement officers die in the line of duty from many causes.  In California, vehicle related deaths are the most common.  But one of the causes of law enforcement officer death that we don’t talk about enough in suicide.  Like much of the rest of society, I think we are still too embarrassed to talk about this subject because somehow we don’t think that when someone takes their own life that it is as noble or worthy of recognition.  It’s tragic and the loss to family, friends, and our profession is the same.  In 2010, some 145 law enforcement officers committed suicide in the United States.  And these are the cases we know about.  The motivation of these officers can be often tough to figure out.  How many of these officers do you think were struggling with being gay?  Of course there can be many contributing factors that bring someone to the point of suicide, but how tragic is it when someone takes their own life because they fear being “found out” or rejected by a profession they love.

I know of one local story involving a young officer who had a very successful career.  He left one large agency and went to another, presumably to find personal happiness.  The larger agency had a well know reputation for being homophobic and not accepting of LGBT officers.  Apparently he did not find what he was looking for at his new department and decided that taking his own life was better than “coming out.”  The worst part is that no one wants to talk about it.  Despite the evidence found in his house, his parents denied it and the local agency just didn’t want to deal with it.

I’ve heard from so many closeted officers that suicide became an option for them at one point or another in their life before coming out.  And it was all driven by a fear of being rejected or forced out of the law enforcement “brotherhood.”  We talk such a good game about the importance of “having each others back” and the “thin blue line,” but when it comes to accepting the fact that one of our “brothers” or “sisters” is gay, the pervasive culture in many law enforcement agencies is still homophobic and not accepting of this aspect of our colleagues.  I hear all the time comments like, “well we don’t have any gay people in our department, so it’s not an issue here.”  The problem is that there are gay people in your department, you just don’t know who they are.  And we can’t simply expect people to “come out” and make themselves visible if the culture is not safe for them to do so.

This year, as we remember those who died in the line of duty and think about how and why, let’s also think about how we can prevent the tragic loss of a life from suicide.  How can we make sure our agencies really do “have each others back” and how can we create a safe environment for our LGBT colleagues to come out.  How can we create a culture that is supportive of our LGBT colleagues.  I could write for hours about the steps an agency can take to make a change in culture, but truly is starts with every individual member.  It simply requires an expression of acceptance and a commitment to no longer use hateful words and phrases that communicate homophobia.  I truly believe this is the last bastion of bigotry facing law enforcement internally and we have a great deal of work to do in this area.

My personal thanks to all members of law enforcement for the work you do day in and day out to make our communities a better place.  For all of the LGBT members of law enforcement, a special thanks to you for the extra sacrifice you make to be part of this amazing and noble profession – law enforcement.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RMunYfzlGs

Young LGBT people need to see themselves in whatever dream they have for their future.  They need to see, as in this case, that no matter their sexual orientation, that they can become a police officer, deputy sheriff, or other member of law enforcement as an “out” member of the LGBT community.  San Francisco PD has always been way ahead of the profession in its support of their own LGBT members and has set the example for other departments to follow.  This is the first professional “It Gets Better” video produced and released by a police department with the full support of the police chief and mayor.  I can only hope that other departments around the country will be similarly inspired.  Our LGBT youth as well as working LGBT members of law enforcement need to see this and hear from law enforcement executives and civic leaders that being gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, or transgender is a gift and a difference valued by the department and law enforcement profession.

My personal thanks to every member of the San Francisco Police Department who participated in this video on camera and off.  You are amazing and wonderful role models for us all.  I could not be more proud of you all.

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Is it all worth it?  Well that’s a question you have to answer for yourself, but consider the sacrifice of living your life for your parents or anyone else.  We spend the first 18 years of our lives growing, learning, and developing, much at the whim and desire of our parents.  When we become adults, we begin making our own decisions.  As an LGBT person, you can decide to live your life as someone else – someone you are not to satisfy the dreams and desires of others including your parents.  Many people, especially men, do this by getting married, having children, raising a family, and then later in life, destroying it all by coming out and admitting that it’s all been unreal.  The other option is to realize who you are, accept who you are, understand that you were created to be who you are and that being LGBT is not a choice or lifestyle you select.  You can choose to live your life in the truth and then to share who you are with those you love.  It is not, however, your responsibility to make sure others accept you.

In all that we’ve written about coming out to date, we’ve always said that finding the right time and place to share your very personal news is critical.  Hopefully you didn’t and won’t choose a holiday or other family gathering.  You know your parents and others who are closet to you the best.  And if you don’t know how they will react, plan for all possible outcomes.  Remember, that just because you get an emotional and seemingly negative response, it doesn’t mean that things won’t evolve and change.  Parents, too, need time to “come out” about having an LGBT son or daughter.  Allow them the time to process the idea and consider they really may not have known about you.  But the point of this article is about what to do if it doesn’t go well.  The simple answer is that you can’t do anything about it.

Aside from being aware and sensitive about how you share your sexual orientation or gender identity, you are not responsible for how your parents or anyone else accepts you.  Rejecting you is not going to change one bit of who you are.  Making you feel guilty about “destroying the family” or telling you that you are a sinner and that you are going to hell is not going to make you any less gay.  You are who you are and no one, including your parents or even you, can change that.  Part of your plan should be preparing to walk away from it all and I mean actually leaving.  It should include the idea that you may no longer be welcome at family gathering, holiday celebrations, and that your calls may go unanswered.  Your “best friend” could decide to walk away and dissolve your friendship.  But, then again, how good of a friend were they really if they cannot accept you for who you really are.  Have courage, have confidence, and if you are tossed away by your parents, walk away with confidence.  Of course it might hurt you a great deal, so allow yourself some time to mourn.  But once that mourning has come and gone, move forward with your life.  If you have done what we suggested early on about forming a network of LGBT friends and supporters, you will never be alone.  You will have a new family, a new place to gather for holidays, and a community that loves and supports you for who you are.  You simply have to look at the important people in your life differently.  Those who reject you are no longer as important as those who do support you.  Let those who do not accept you go.  Let the stress from all of those years of trying to please them slip away.  Allow yourself to experience happiness independently from the approval of anyone else.  If and when you find someone to love, to become your partner, husband, or wife, the only one’s acceptance of that partner that is at all important is your own.  If you get from your parents the old line, “well that’s fine if you are gay, just don’t bring it around here,” then don’t.  This is not acceptance and you are worth so much more than having to live your life under those limitations.  Go out there and find the love you deserve and let go any consideration of how your parents will accept or not accept your partner.

Here’s the bottom line.  Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.  But in all cases, be who you are.  The acceptance of others won’t change the reality of who you are.  Be true to yourself always and leave the responsibility for others to accept you to them.  Lean on your friends and those who support you for strength and confidence and know you will never be alone.

This article is part of a series on “coming out.”  Click Here To Begin The Series.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RclFT71GmVc

Our congratulations to Bryan Leffew and his husband Jay Foxworthy as well as to their two children for the huge role they played in this new documentary.  Jay is a deputy sheriff with the San Francisco Sheriff’s Department.  He and Bryan have dedicated hundreds of hours to creating Youtube videos and a website all focused on showing this country that families are families whether there are two dads, two moms, or one of each.  The love they have for each other and their children is clear and a great example of how every family could and should be.

This film premiers at the Castro Theater on Tuesday, February 6, 2012.  There are several showings available that day and if you are in and around the bay area, I hope you will join me in watching the film and in supporting this amazing family and fellow law enforcement colleague.

Here is how to learn more.

Click here to order tickets to one of the premier showings.
Click here to learn more about the film.
Click here to view Gay Family Values – the website created by Bryan and Jay.

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Marriage equality matters only to the civil or legal relationship established under the law of the land between two people.   There are both practical and social benefits that make marriage a matter of equality under the 14th Amendment to the United States Constitution.  There are over 1100 federal rights and benefits given to couples who have a marriage that is recognized legally by the government.  Many of these rights and benefits are significant.  Of course, there are similar rights at the state level applicable to legally married couples as well making this issue of equality notable under the law.  Many books have been written outlining in detail the many rights involved, but for example, consider how a partner’s health benefits are taxed differently and the differences in the amounts of money married couples pay in income tax compared to those couples who must file separately.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=be9w4QpQ4Xw

Why is the word “marriage” significant?  Why doesn’t something like, “civil union work?”  The word “marriage’ has a certain recognition in our society that may or may not include an association with having made a religious commitment.  For example, if you are in a work or social setting, and someone who doesn’t know you asks, “are you married?”  A reply of, “yes, I’m married” discloses that you are in a  legally committed relationship, but doesn’t say anything about your sexual orientation.  Having to reply, “no, I’m in a civil union (or domestic partnership)” says not only that you are in a legally committed relationship, but also that you are gay.  In some social circles that may not be a big deal, but it could be in others and, the bottom line is, that it is different  and not equal.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBZ06_3GgLs

The term “marriage equality” is more appropriate to describe the civil right we are fighting for.  Whether you see yourself getting married or not, having that option available is an important right that you should be concerned about.  Marriage is a legal institution that provides stability for relationships and families.  This is the reason the government had an interest in marriage from the beginning and all couples should be able to benefit from this source of stability no matter their sexual orientation.  Unfortunately, many government leaders don’t understand any of this.  The good news is, however, that some are coming around much like the governor from Washington.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJu6MA_wF7o

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I can tell from personal experience that living a double-life and constantly telling lies about your life is totally stressful, both mentally and physically.  The worry about someone finding out the truth about what you are hiding takes years off of your life and for what?  Making a resolution this year to start living an authentic life in 2012 will not only be something that will improve your mental health, but it will have a positive effect on your physical health as well.  Lowering the stress in your life will help you smile more, eat and drink less, sleep better, and help you to feel better about yourself overall.  Anyone who has come out will tell you the same thing.

Afraid?  Fear not, for there are thousands of “out” LGBT law enforcement professionals out there who are ready to embrace and support you.  All you need to do is to reach out and tell us who you are.  You can use the link at the top of this page to get immediate support from us.  You can also click on the link for law enforcement organizations and connect with an association or group located near you.  I guarantee you will find acceptance, understanding, and total support.

If you decide to make this your resolution for 2012, tell us about it.  Let us be the first to congratulate you and to wish you a very happy and authentic new year.

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October is also GLBT History Month and another opportunity to learn about our struggles, our victories, and about some of the amazing people who made it all happen.  Because of people like Harvey Milk and many other pioneers, our society is a more accepting place for people coming out than every before.  Nonetheless, coming out is still a challenge.

Each year I write with a challenge to those of you in law enforcement who are still in the closet and this year will be no exception.  I urge you to take a leap of faith and to come out. Use National Coming Out Day or GLBT History Month to mark this milestone in your life.  You have no idea of how much freedom, relief, and pure joy you will feel once you release yourself to start living your life as you were created to be.  In law enforcement, there is a huge network of GLBT police officers, deputy sheriffs, agents, and every other title, just waiting to embrace you and support you.  You are not alone and you will find acceptance in law enforcement.

There is so much available to you on how to take the first step in coming out including what is available in our books and on this website.  You can even get individual support by clicking on Coming Out at the top of this page.  If you don’t have time to read our books, then read the coming out posts on this website.  The time is now, so take that first step and go for it!

And if coming out for yourself isn’t a good enough reason, then do it for all of the other closeted cops out there who continue to suffer from the homophobia that still exists in our profession.  How can you change that?  You need to make yourself visible by coming out and sharing your story.  Trust me, you are not the first or only gay cop at your department.  But you may be the first to come out and we know from experience that by putting a face on the issue we can defeat the negative stereotypes that still hang on us.  I can’t tell you how many stories I’ve heard of officers who have come out and who have had a very positive influence on their peers.  They have literally changed minds and hearts.  Employment laws and anti-discrimination policies are important, but they are really only good for punishing offenders after the damage is done.  The only true way to defeat homophobia is to make ourselves visible and to demonstrate that we can do the job as well or better than anyone else.

Need a quick guide for coming out on National Coming Out Day, here you go.

A.  Stand in front of a mirror, look at yourself and say it out loud.  ”I’m gay (or lesbian, bi-sexual, transgender or how you choose to identify).  But say it for real out load.  You need to come out to yourself before you can tell anyone else.
B.  Think about the friend you are closest too.  The friend you value and trust the most.  Call that person and set up a time and place to meet.  Share your story and come out.
C.  Follow your heart on who you tell next, but reach out to connect with other GLBT law enforcement personnel.

There are all kinds of resources including a section on the HRC Website.  Click Here To Learn More.

If you decide to come out today, we’d love to hear from you.  Click on Coming Out at the top of this page and send us a note to let us know how it all goes.  Know that we are here, ready, and waiting to embrace you!

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It takes more courage than I have to serve in a branch of our military.  It’s amazing to me that many people still find that it takes more courage to come out than it does to fight for our freedom.  All of this aside, I found myself completely moved today while I watched this incredible soldier share with the world such an important moment with his parents.  I am humbled by his courage and can only call him a true role model of bravery and courage for others.  What a gift he gave all of those who are still in the closet looking for the way out.

The first call he made to his dad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVAgz6iyK6A

The second call he made to his mom.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4CKF97DAi8

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For LGBT employees, the agency executive is an important ally. If the agency culture around LGBT issues has been hostile and homophobic, the executive is really the only person who can initiate effective change. Hopefully the motivation to create an inclusive work place for LGBT employees will come from a sense of value for those employees and for the value of the diversity LGBT employees bring to the table. Unfortunately, change in this area is often motivated by the order of a court or settlement agreement. In all cases, the chief or sheriff is the one who must drive change.

I’ve been asked often by agency managers, mostly lieutenants and captains, and a few chiefs how they can create a positive work place for LGBT employees. Those of us in the LGBT community cannot assume that this is common sense. Changing any aspect of organizational culture takes time and steady, consistent messaging over time. Creating an inclusive and accepting work culture that has traditionally been full of homophobia will never happen overnight and, in fact, may take years. But because the process for creating this type of change is not common sense or a topic commonly taught in leadership schools, I offer the following guidance for our straight allies in leadership who desire to make their agencies a more accepting and successful work place for LGBT employees.

A good friend of mine was recently promoted to chief in a department of about 190 sworn officers. He told me about two officers within the ranks he believes are gay. He told me that rumors about the officers have traveled around the department and he was particularly concerned because one of them was in the process of leaving the department to go to a department known to be more gay friendly. The chief added that he has no “out” gay male officers and wanted to know what he could do to make these two officers more comfortable. He said both were very productive and professional and that having them leave would definitely be a loss. Here is what I shared.

First of all, the organization is already pointed in the right direction, because this new chief cares enough about the topic to ask about it. The traditional approach might have been to hope the two closted gay officers leave so that the organization doesn’t have to deal with potentially having “out” gay officers. The reality is that LGBT employees already exist, so if you are a chief or sheriff reading this article, don’t think for a second that just because no one has ever come out in your department that you don’t have any LGBT employees. In fact, if no one has ever come out, you should be very worried about why.

The path to change starts with looking at agency policies. Check any policy that deals with any type of identity, such as race, gender, and nationality, to be sure that it also includes sexual orientation and gender identity. Just because your state does not prohibit harassment and discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity doesn’t mean that you cannot have a department policy that requires equality. It’s not enough to say in general terms that “all people are equal.” For the LGBT employee, seeing “sexual orientation” and “gender identity” spelled out in policy is important and it communicates a value around this difference that establishes equality with other individual characteristics. Including this specific language in policy will then drive discussions in training when work place harassment and discrimination policies are periodically reviewed. New employees coming into the organization will also be trained on the values of inclusivity at this level automatically in the same way that they are about valuing other individual differences.

The Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department created a model approach to changing agency culture in this way when Sheriff Bacca wrote into the department values statement specific language around not tolerating homophobia. You will find LGBT specific language throughout their agency values and policies.

One of the questions my friend asked me was if he should approach the two closeted officers and to tell them that he is “OK with them being gay.” The answer is definitely no. First of all, you don’t know for sure about someone’s sexual orientation or gender identity until they come out about it. There are all kinds of reasons that one’s sexual orientation or gender identity might be mis-perceived. It’s never a good idea, especially for an executive, to try and “out” or “force out” a closeted employee. So aside from a policy, how does a chief or sheriff directly communicate to closeted LGBT employees that it’s safe to come out? It’s simple really, but it must start with how the agency executive communicates daily and what language they use.

Anytime an opportunity occurs to talk about valuing diversity and inclusivity, use specific language that includes “lesbian,” “gay,” “bi-sexual,” and “transgender.” Modeling the language and behavior desirable to promote an inclusive environment is a powerful tool for creating change. An executive should never forget how carefully subordinates watch and listen to everything that comes out of the mouth of the agency leader. Don’t be afraid to use terms and phrases like, “LGBT,” “GLBT,” “gay,” “lesbian,” “bi-sexual,” or “transgender.” Avoid words and phrases such as “lifestyle,” alternative lifestyle,” and “anything to do with “choice.” Sexual orientation and gender identity is not a matter of choice. The bottom line is that you should talk about it rather than simply avoiding use of the terms or assuming that everyone knows what you mean when you say you “value diversity.”

The agency command staff must follow the executive’s lead. Talk to your captains and lieutenants about the change in culture you want to make around creating an inclusive and comfortable place for LGBT employees. Encourage your leadership team to use the same specific language in their daily exchanges. If your command staff isn’t already on board with how to be a good ally for LGBT employees, then maybe some specific training on the topic would be in order.

The next step is to look for opportunities for your agency to be involved with the local LGBT community. If your city has an LGBT pride parade or festival, be there. Put together a contingent to participate in the parade and take the leadership position of marching. Others will follow and you will, without saying a word, communicate a message of value and acceptance to your LGBT employees. If your department participates in other cultural events by having a recruitment booth, look for events within your LGBT community to do the same. Seek out LGBT organizations in your community and meet periodically with the leaders of these groups just like you would with religious leaders and the leaders of other identity groups and civil rights organizations. Again, your actions will speak as loud or louder than words.

How do you know if you have an organizational culture that is homophobic? Listen to the language people use. If words like, “fag” and “faggot” and phrases like, “that’s so gay” get used without repercussions or immediate action by supervisors, you have a homophobic work place culture. Managers, supervisors, and ideally line-level employees should be equally appalled hearing “niger” in the work place as they do “fag.” Both should draw equal reaction from management. Language is the lowest, but most common and damaging form of work place harassment. Ridding an organization of homophobia must include aggressively correcting work place language.

Of course, enforcing agency policies around equality, discrimination, and harassment are at the cornerstone of changing culture. As the executive, if you are complacent, slow to react, or totally non-reactive to this type of conduct, you might as well say to your rank and file that you support it. Hold people accountable just as you would for a use of excessive force or any other form of unprofessional or illegal conduct.

Over time, your actions and those of your command staff will speak for themselves and your LGBT employees will begin to feel more comfortable. Coming out at work is a complex issue and there may be many reasons way beyond your control as an executive that prevent an employee from coming out, but you will strike the best chance of having employees come out if you make sure the work place environment is safe. And isn’t that what we want for everyone and ourselves? We want to come to work feeling valued, safe, and secure.

If you have a situation that you would like free advice on how to handle, I invite you to contact us using one links at the top of the page. Our contributing authors have a commitment to helping agency executives and other straight allies make law enforcement a better place for LGBT employees.

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Greg Miraglia will be presenting a training program on the human relations training he designed and presents at the Napa Valley Police Academy. This training will include a detailed look at the 54 hours of training basic academy recruits receive including the cross-cultural research project. He will have copies of the program for each attendee. He will also be the keynote speaker at the conference dinner.

The conference will take place at the Luxor Hotel in Las Vegas. Rooms start at just $55 a night. You can learn more about the conference and purchase your registration online at www.legalinternational.org

Here is a list of some of the training scheduled for the conference.

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There are a few things to think about before coming out at work.  First of all, as of today, only 21 states provide for employment protection based on sexual orientation and or gender identity.  This means that in the majority of states, you can still legally be fired simply for being a member of the LGBT community.  I haven’t heard of it happening often, but I have talked with officers within the last couple of years who suffered from this kind of “legalized” discrimination.  You should know where you stand legally before making the decision to talk about who you are at work.  Click here for up to date information about employment laws in your state. You should also review your agency policies and procedures as well as any municipal or county personnel rules and regulations related to discrimination.  Knowing exactly where you stand will give you confidence as you make the decision to come out at work.

As much as law enforcement work and culture is the same, no matter where you are in the country, every agency does have aspects of its culture unique to the people working there.  If you work for a small department where everyone from the chief or sheriff down to the part time volunteer knows everyone else, think about talking to your chief or sheriff first.  Whether its out of respect for the position or relationship, having support from the top helps.  Now of course, this assumes you do in fact know your agency executive well enough to know he or she will be supportive.  I’ve talked to a lot of officers who told me that telling their chief was important and knowing of their support made the rest of the process easier.  In larger agencies, as a line officer, you may not have any connection with the chief or sheriff at all, so coming out to them probably isn’t an issue.  Consider your assignment, the relationships you have with supervisors and peers, and your own comfort level.  You also need to think about any “beards” or “cover stories” you’ve used to conceal your sexuality as these facts and stories need to be undone.  If you work with a partner on the job, respect that relationship and consider telling your work partner first.  I don’t recommend doing it on duty or even around the work place.  You don’t want to risk having someone overhear your conversation or, worse yet, have a hot call go down right in the middle of telling your story.  Like in the last article, find a place to have lunch or dinner, set aside a good amount of time for conversation, and then go for it.  Be ready for questions and don’t set yourself up for any one particular reaction. If it doesn’t go well, be prepared to let it go for the moment and give your work partner time to think about what you’ve said.

One of the common reactions I encountered as I came out to people at work and to friends in my life is, “why didn’t you feel comfortable telling me before?”  It’s not that you didn’t tell THEM, it’s that you didn’t tell anyone.  Make it about you, not them.  Coming out is a very personal decision that, in this profession, takes courage above and beyond.  Explain yourself without making excuses or placing blame.  That was then and this is now.

It took a good year for rumors and gossip to stop after I came out.  No one ever said a negative thing to my face.  While I’m sure there was a lot talked about behind my back, I never heard about it.  People at your work place will talk and there is nothing you can do about.  Encourage open dialogue and remember, your co-workers will be as comfortable with you as you are with yourself.

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Source:  www.thinkprogress.org

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The Stonewall Bar Today – June 2011 (photo courtesy of Alex Holm)

If you haven’t taken the time to watch “Stonewall Uprising,” here is a perfect opportunity to do so. Here is an opportunity to learn about some our history and to discover the origins of today’s pride.

From “American Experience” and PBS Video.

There are all kinds of reasons to have pride this month.  Click here to read more from our post from Pride 2010.

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I was in high school at the time Harvey was assassinated. I remember the story well, but didn’t really know who Harvey Milk was and how important he would become to my own civil rights. We all owe it to Harvey Milk to know his story, to share it, and to appreciate his courage. His work paved the way for all of us to have it a little easier today than he did. Of course, Harvey Milk took a lead role in helping to re-shape the relationship between law enforcement and the gay community. The 1960′s and 1970′s were violent times between the police and our community. Harvey used the power of his words to organize peaceful demonstrations.

This year, while preparing for the monthly GLBT radio show that I co-host, I had the honor to meet and talk with Paul Boneberg who is the executive director of the GLBT History Museum in San Francisco. We met at the museum and sat around Harvey Milk’s actual kitchen table. Sitting on the table was the real bull horn he used, some articles of his clothing, and a strong sense of history. What an experience. If you get to the Castro in San Francisco, be sure and visit the museum.

If you cannot get to the GLBT Museum in San Francisco, take some time to watch these video clips of some of the most famous moments in our history.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Up55VCNA03s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZNGpB9A2js

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzQ3NFXwpV8

You can learn more about Harvey Milk by watching two movies and by visiting some of websites listed below.

The Times Of Harvey Milk

Milk

GLBT Museum

Harvey Milk Related Websites

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Saturday, June 11, 2011 2:00PM – Book Signing Event – The Book Center – The University of Pittsburgh 4000 5th Avenue.  Come and meet author Greg Miraglia and contributing authors EMT Jessica McGuinness and Fire Captain Brett Dunkel.  Books will be available for purchase and signing.

Sunday, June 12, 2011 12:00PM – Pride Parade on Liberty Avenue.  We’ll be marching with local public safety agencies.  Come by after the parade and say hi at our table.  We’ll be available to sign books and chat.  We’ll be there for Pride Fest between 1:00PM and 6:00PM.

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Your story doesn’t have to be about how you came out.  In fact, we are looking for your most memorable moments on the job related to being gay, lesbian, bi-sexual or transgender.  Maybe it’s the time when you first told your work partner or an awkward or challenging moment during a call in the field.  It could be a story that is funny, happy, sad, or maddening.  The lives of public safety professionals are always unique and fascinating and for those who identify as LGBT, life can be particularly challenging.

We are looking for short stories (2000 words or less).  No story is too short to share, so don’t feel like you need to spend days writing.  Stories that are 300 to 500 words are often the most powerful.  All you have to do is click on the “Submit Your Story” link at the top of this page, fill out the simple form, and then cut and paste your story into the text box provided.

Now if you really want to get creative, we now have the ability to post videos!  You can make a video of your story and upload it to YouTube.  Then, must submit the URL to your upload in the text box as described above.

In all cases, we will publish all stories on this website as soon as they are submitted.  At some point, we may explore assembling these stories into another type of publication or media.  For now, we simply want to get as many stories out there as we can.  Our goal with this project continues to be to inspire other LGBT public safety professionals and to educate our straight colleagues.

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Living your life in the truth means that you will no longer lie about who you are.  It means that you will stop making up stories about the dates you had, the “hot women” or “hot men” you are chasing, and that you start thinking about sharing who you really are with those in your life including friends, family, and co-workers.  It would be easy if you could just go to work and to be able to keep your private life totally separate.  However, the reality is for almost every job, especially one in law enforcement, it just doesn’t work that way.  Think about it.  What’s the first question you or your co-workers ask on a Monday?  “Hey, how was your weekend?  What did you do?”  Almost every work place has some social activity at some level, so even if you never attend these events, at some point you are going to be asked or wondered about.  Living an authentic life means not only being honest with yourself, but with others close to you.  Of course, this leads to the next phase of the coming out process which is to share your secret with others.

If you think that coming out is a once-in-a-lifetime event, let me tell you from experience that it is not.  In fact, you will likely come out every day for the rest of your life.  Now it certainly won’t be as dramatic, scary, or emotional as it is the first few times you tell people, but the reality is that, straight or gay, people come out with their sexuality in the normal course of business.  Whether it’s in the pictures you put up on  your locker or desk or who you talk about sharing your life with, we express our sexuality in the normal course of life’s business.  I’ve talked to several friends now who have told me that they don’t ever “come out” to anyone.  One friend told me, “if you talk to me for five or ten minutes about who I am, you will discover on your own that I”m gay.  The most important people in my life are my partner and our son.  I almost always have something to say about us.”  And this is so true.  In today’s age, gay and lesbian people are “out” everywhere, even in law enforcement.  It is a huge event in your life, but in the big picture, it’s probably a bigger issue for you than most others.  The older you are and the more lies you have to unravel, the more individual conversations you might have to have.  But, you don’t have to throw a coming out party to share your secret.

Here are some thoughts about the first few people you tell.  First of all, think about those people in your life you care most about.  Who has earned the place in your life to be among the first to know your truth.  Think next about who is most likely to support you.  Don’t set yourself up for the expectation that everyone will embrace your news, but do pick one person who is most likely to listen and accept you unconditionally.   In our books, I recommend first building a network of gay friends, people you can talk to about coming out and how to do it.  This network can also support you when you feel most alone.  Once you do identify the person you want to tell first, set up a quiet and private place to talk.  The Thanksgiving dinner table is not the place!  A party is not the place.  The locker room or police department briefing is not the place.  Make sure you have enough time to really talk and to listen.  Don’t make a game out of it and be careful not to create such drama around the set-up that you create more anxiety for you and the recipient of your secret than is necessary.  For me, the best place to talk is over a meal in a restaurant that is not crowded or too noisy.  Don’t get drunk before you begin sharing and remember, you’ve known the truth about yourself for a long time.  The person you are telling may just be finding out.  Be ready for any reaction, but don’t be disappointed when you hear, “Yeah, I know.  What took you so long to tell me?”  Go slowly and share you secret at a pace you feel comfortable with, but understand that once you do tell someone, you can’t expect anyone else to keep it a secret.  It’s not fair to say, “I’m going to tell you something about me, but you can’t tell anyone else” and then hold the person accountable if they slip – it’s not fair.

I recommend making a list, in order, of who you want to tell thinking about how the people on your list associate with each other.  And don’t be afraid of letting the word get out on its own.  You don’t have to make a formal announcement to everyone in your life.  Reserve those special times and sharing for those people closest to you or who you need to unravel a lie with.  Let nature take its course, but know that you can never again lie about or deny who you are.  You must make a commitment to life your life in the truth from this point on.

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What is refreshing about this is the NBA’s immediate reaction and condemnation of Kobe’s use of this word. Despite the reputation that professional sports has for being homophobic, NBA Commissioner Davis Stern didn’t hesitate to call-out Kobe for unacceptable conduct. While I was a bit surprised, but nevertheless very happy to see Kobe be held accountable for use of this slur, I still find it disappointing that in law enforcement phrases like, “that’s so gay,” and use of the word, “fag” and “fagot” often go un-noticed. Like professional sports, homophobia is alive and well in many law enforcement agencies. And one of the reasons that it still exits is because the use of inappropriate gay slurs is tolerated. I’m not suggesting that agency executives and leaders encourage use of these words, but by not setting a professional standard and reacting to use of these words like David Stern did, they are condoning the conduct. What is really disturbing is that these slurs get used by professionals who have taken an oath to defend the Constitutional rights of all people. These are “peace officers” who take an oath to a code of ethics that demands “exemplary” following laws and department policies and no tolerance for unprofessional conduct, including language.

I expect more from law enforcement officers than I do from a basketball player. I expect more from law enforcement leaders and executives than I do from the NBA Commissioner. I think we all should. It’s about time that all law enforcement professionals step up in the same way that David Stern did and put an end to any level of tolerance for use of these words. Middle schools, high schools, colleges, and a good portion of the the rest of society have already stepped up and recognize use of these words are wrong. At least we can expect the same from those we pay to protect us, all of us.

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While each of these professions has its own unique culture, the coming out journey really begins the same way no matter which badge or uniform you wear.  The place to begin in in front of a mirror and by taking an honest and serious look at yourself.  There is no perfect age to do this.  For many young people these days, this look comes at 12 or 13 years old, but if you have been working as a police officer, firefighter, or EMS professional, for ten or twenty years, you may have avoided this mirror until now.  Just know that it is never too late to begin the journey of coming out.

You need to be honest with yourself first a foremost.  More than likely, deep down inside, you know if you have had a same sex attraction in your life.  Realize that its not a matter of being only straight or gay, there are many variations in between.  As Alfred Kinsey and others have proven through their extensive studies, sexuality is a continuum.  How you identify depends on the label you decide best fits your sexual attractions.  Be cautious though about becoming lost in denial.  It’s easy to rationalize away those feelings, fantasies, and longings in order to fit in with what your friends, family, and professional colleagues expect.  The image of yourself that you create can easily be shaped by the expectations of others, but ultimately, when you take a close look at yourself in that mirror, you need to look honestly and without shame at the truth you see.  You can try to deny all those attractions and feelings all you want, but they won’t go away.

The image we create of ourselves is shaped by many outside influences.  It begins with the approval of our parents, our siblings, friends at school, and what we see and learn about through the media and rest of society.  Non-heterosexuality is probably not part of that image others have created for you.  But, the reality is that your sexuality is not a matter of choice.  You cannot consciously decided to “follow in your father’s or mother’s footsteps” like many of you did when you got into law enforcement, the fire service, or emergency medicine.  Yes, it is true that you can cover it up and decide to live a heterosexual life, but living that life does not change your sexuality or make you straight – no matter how hard you try.  And ultimately, you will be the one who loses the most in this lie.

Look in the mirror and don’t be afraid of what you see.  Even if you have denied seeing yourself and your true sexuality before, it is never too late to see your true self with 20/20 vision.  It’s never too late to start reversing the lie you have been living, but you must begin that journey by being truthful with yourself first.  You cannot expect anyone else to accept the true you if you are not ready to accept yourself first.  Now it may not be easy and you may be unsure, but you must begin your journey here, in front of the mirror, by coming out to yourself first.  You cannot expect others to even consider accepting who you are if you are not able to accept yourself.  I know so many people in my life who are struggling with just this very stage and I want to badly to say, it’s ok, you can come out and be who you were created to be.

How do you come out to yourself you ask?  You step up in front of that mirror and say those words out loud.  “I’m gay,” or, “I’m bi-sexual.”  Say the words out loud and give yourself the credit of being honest with yourself for perhaps the first time in your life.  Verbalizing your identity is the first step toward accepting this aspect of who you are.  It is also the first step in ridding yourself of the shame and fear that has accumulated throughout your life.  This is where the coming out journey begins.

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The Library Collection includes both hard cover additions signed by author Greg Miraglia.  In addition, this set includes a CD copy of “Outbeat Radio Comes Out From Behind The Badge,” a one-hour radio special we produced in May of 2010 that aired on KRCB Radio as part of National Law Enforcement Month.  This show contains interviews with “out” gay and lesbian police officers from all over the United States.  This CD is only available through our website as part of this special package.

The softcover set includes both books in paperback.  You can get a customized message and signature that would be ideal as a gift for someone else for as a keepsake for yourself.

Proceeds from the sale of these books go to fund the Out To Protect Scholarship Program supporting GLBT law enforcement students throughout the United States.

Pricing for these special book sets include 3-day USPS priority mail shipping directly to you.

CLICK HERE TO ORDER NOW

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About 100 people packed the bookstore.  The crowd included friends, family, and students from the Napa Valley College Police Academy where author Greg Miraglia teaches.  Attendees asked questions and listened to each author read from their own favorite part of their story.

We thank everyone who traveled to San Francisco on a very rainy day to celebrate with us.  Our hope is that these stories will reach and help those who are closeted and fearful about coming out to realize you can be out and still have a successful career in public safety.  We also hope that these stories will enlighten and educate colleagues, family, and co-workers to become allies and supporters.

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$9.99

CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Announcing The Official Release Of
American Heroes Coming Out From Behind The Badge

Stories From Police, Fire and EMS Professionals “Out” On the Job

January 11, 2011 – Santa Rosa, California.  Author Greg Miraglia announced today the official release of his second book, “American Heroes coming Out From Behind The Badge – Stories from police, fire, and EMS Professionals “Out” on the job.”

The stories contained in this book were written by real police officers, firefighters, and EMS Professionals about their own coming out journies.  Each story is unique, but shares the common experience of coming out while working as a public safety professional.  These courageous people are truly role models who have demonstrated that you can be “out” on the job and still be successful.  All of them are doing their part to combat the unofficial “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy that exits in many police departments, fire departments, and EMS agencies.

“It’s truly an honor to share with the world the stories of some special and amazing police officers, firefighters, and EMS Professionals from around the United States who are currently serving communities just like the one you live in.  What makes these dedicated public servants extra special is that they happen to be gay, lesbian, bi-sexual or transgender.  They also happen to be “out” despite the homophobia that still exists in within all three of these public safety professions,” said Miraglia.

In his first book, Mr. Miraglia told his own coming out story after working for three different law enforcement agencies and rising to the rank of deputy chief.  In addition to the new stories in this new book, Mr. Miraglia offers more advice based on what he has learned since coming out in 2004.

Mr. Miraglia added, “The best law enforcement work is done by people for people.  We are a profession of people and to that end we share many common human attributes including our sexuality.  The variety of sexual orientation found in men and women transcends all races, ethnicities, nationalities, religiions, and countries.  It also transcends every law enforcement agency serving and protecting every community.  It is not a choice, but rather a part of how we were created.  Although it can be masked, it cannot ever be changed.  It is a part of every human being who carries a badge.”

The official release event will be held at the A Different Light Bookstore, located at 489 Castro Street in San Francisco, on Saturday, February 19, 2011, at 3:00 PM.  This event will feature readings from the book from several of the contributing authors.  A question and answer period and book signing will follow.  Copies of the book will be available for sale.

“American Heroes Coming Out From Behind The Badge” is now available for immediate order from online book sellers including Authorhouse.com, Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble.com.  Signed copies are available from our own website at www.comingoutfrombehindthebadge.com. Proceeds from the sale of the book will go to the Out To Protect National Scholarship Program supporting LGBT law enforcement academy students.

American Heroes Coming Out From Behind The Badge

6″X9″  212 pages
Library of Congress Control Number 2010917075
Paperback ISBN: 9781452076270  Suggested Retail Price: $21.95
Hardcover ISBN: 978142076287  Suggested Retail Price: $26.95
E-Book ISBN: 9781452076294 Suggested Retail Price: $14.99
Publisher:  Author House
Wholesale Distributor:  Ingram Books and Baker & Taylor (Retailers Buy-Back Guarantee Available)

Recommended Categories:  Self-Help, Health and Sexuality, LGBT Studies, Law Enforcement, Diversity Studies, Anthologies

Author House Publisher Direct Sales:  Call 888-280-7715 (Quantity Discounts Available)
To Request A Free Review Copy:  Call Author House at 888-519-5121 extension 5299

For more information about this release or to request an interview, please call:

COFBTB Publications – 707-333-8353

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Earlier this week, Congressman Barney Frank had this to say about the “homosexual agenda.”

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This book includes new stories from police officers, firefighters, and EMS professionals from around the country.  I’ve updated my own story and included more advice about coming out based on what I have learned over the last six years from my own experience as well as from talking to others I’ve met along the way.

I’m incredibly grateful for the officers, firefighters, and EMS Professionals who contributed to this second book including Peter Thoshinsky, Richard Swallow, Thomas Bell, Brett Dunckel, Alex Morfin, Jessica McGuinness, Robert Parsons, Bill, and Kyle Ross.  Each of these amazing people have stepped up with the courage to be who they are and to share themselves with the world in hopes of inspiring the many law enforcement officers, firefighters, and EMS Professionals who are still hiding in the closet.

This is an exciting time in our history as more gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and transgender public safety professionals make themselves visible with the ranks of agencies throughout the United States.  My hope is that the straight colleagues and agency executives who work with these professionals will take notice and use this book to learn more about how to create an accepting and supportive work place for everyone.

Last year I created the Out To Protect Scholarship Program which supports out LGBT law enforcement students who are attending a basic training academy.  I’m really excited to announce that all of the proceeds from the sale of this book will go to support future scholarships.

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Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

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So the question now is whether or not Judge Walker will issue a stay on his own decision pending the appeal to the 9th Circuit Court that has already been filed.  Given what the good Judge wrote in his decision, “Plaintiffs have demonstrated by overwhelming evidence that Proposition 8 violates their due process and equal protection rights and that they will continue to suffer these constitutional violations until state officials cease enforcement of Proposition 8,” I don’t see how he could issue a stay.

No matter what he decides, I am truly grateful for the heard work and detail he put into writing this decision.  He did a thorough job of evaluating all of the facts presented from both sides.

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Chief Pace (seen on the left) was sworn in on June 28, 2010 with his partner of six years.  How great it is that a city and its police department can set the example for others to follow.  This is the kind of role modeling that law enforcement so desperately needs.  Chief Gregory (seen on the right) has also been with his department for twenty years.  He said, he hopes his advancement will encourage others to feel comfortable about their sexuality at the workplace. “Hopefully people are able to be who they are.”

I applaud both of these men for their courage in, first coming out, and then on their hard work to become leaders in their departments.  Their example should serve as evidence to those closeted officers that you can live your life as you were made to be and still be successful in law enforcement.

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The Declaration of Independence was really the start of the civil rights movement in this country and we have been grappling with civil rights issues from that day forward.  We’ve grappled with race and gender and now today, we are fighting over gender identity and sexual orientation.  Organized religions have been deeply involved in every step of the civil rights movement, sometimes not being on the same side of one part of the movement as the other.  While struggles over race were specific to single group of people based on race, gender identity and sexual orientation transcends all races, all people, and both traditional genders.  Despite what some world leaders might say, gay people exist throughout the human race, on every continent and in every country.  It is a naturally occurring aspect of the human species.

The Constitution of the United States says clearly that all people are created equally and entitled to equal protection under the law.  It also establishes a clear separation of church and state.  Religious freedom is, and must be, a two way street meaning that people must be allowed to believe what they want while at the same time be governed independently of any one religion’s values or beliefs.  We are not a Christian country; we are not a country defined by any religious affiliation or allegiance.  We cannot be and have a fundamental freedom to practice any religion or none at all.

Last night I watched “8: The Mormon Proposition”.  This documentary told the story of how the Mormon Church constructed and funded the campaign to pass Proposition 8 in California which changed the California State Constitution to define a marriage between a man and a woman the only type of marriage to be legally recognized by the State.  This was the first time a vote of a slim majority of people changed a state’s constitution to actually take away a liberty from a specific group of people that they once enjoyed (albeit for a very short period of time – June 17, 2008 through November 4, 2008).  This documentary describes how the Mormon Church created a coalition with the Catholic Church to create “smoke screen” of sorts to hide their direct involvement.  I found it completely disturbing.  The level of hatred by the Mormom Church of gay people is amazing to me and defies any Christian values and principles I’m familiar with.  This is a faith that guided by leaders who tell their people that “it’s better to be dead than to be gay.” This is an organization that stands by parents to disown their gay children and one that has a track record of having one of the highest suicide rates among gay youth than any other religion in this country.  Hatred is a Mormon value and I see little difference between the kind of evil practiced here and that found in satanism. What took place with the Mormon Church and Catholic Church in the campaign for proposition 8 is criminal, unethical, and immoral.

On this July 4th holiday, I urge you to think about the meaning behind this weekend’s celebration and, like those lead us to freedom and independence from England, to find the courage to stand up for liberty, equality, and justice for all.  Don’t sit back and wait for someone else to do the hard work for you.  Find some way to contribute to this generation’s civil rights movement and do your part to honor those who fought before you.

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In law enforcement, we seem to be lagging behind the rest of society in our acceptance of LGBT co-workers.  In fact, the homophobia in law enforcement resembles the kinds of childish bullying found in many high schools around the country.  This homophobia is keeping a vast majority of LGBT law enforcement officers from being “out” on the job.  But again, let’s not forget how far we have come as evidenced by the 14th LGBT Conference for Law Enforcement and Criminal Justice Professionals taking place this weekend in Chicago, hosted by the Chicago Gay Officers’ Action League.  No, there is no typo there… it is the fourteenth! annual conference.  There are LGBT law enforcement associations how on both coasts and sprinkled around the country in places you might least expect them to be including Iowa and Alabama.  More and more, law enforcement professionals, who happen to be LGBT, are coming out and in doing so are changing the hearts and minds of their colleagues.  This too is cause for much celebration.

This coming Wednesday, I have the distinct honor of being the keynote speaker the first multi-agency pride celebration of the U.S. Attorney’s Office, DEA, GSA, and FBI in San Francisco.  This even won’t take place off site in some hidden location, but rather in Courtroom 5 of the Phillip Burton Federal Building.  300 people are expected to attend.  The fact that this many employees will be coming together and openly celebrating pride in who they are is evidence and reason to be proud.

You know, you don’t have to wait until June each year to celebrate Pride.  Celebrate the unique person you are every day.  But this weekend as you are marching and partying, take an extra moment to remember all of those people who helped you get here today including those in your life who you know as well as those pioneers you may not have ever met.

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It’s time now to fund raise for our next set of scholarships and we need your help. The Out To Protect Scholarship Program is funded entirely by private donations. No amount is too small to make a difference. Out to Protect Incorporated is a 501(c)(3) tax exempt organization, which means that every dollar you donate is fully tax deductible.

Donate Now

The Board of Directors is committed to making sure that 90% or more of ever donated dollar goes to one of our scholarships. This means that every dollar you donate will go to help a future law enforcement officer. Our goal this summer is to raise $10,000 by September 1 in order to fund the next 10 scholarship awards.

Please help us build this “first of its kind” scholarshp fund in the United States. It’s so easy to make a donation online using just about any credit card. You do not need to have a PayPal account to make an online donation. We welcome donations for professional organizations and checks are always accepted. Please click here for details about where to mail a donation.

You can follow us on Facebook for regular updates about our program.

Thank You

Greg Miraglia, President
Out To Protect Incorporated

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Identify as gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, transgender, or a straight ally and be “out” to your family, friends, and peers at the academy or law enforcement agency.
Be a recognized role model by your peers and supervisors.
Demonstrate use of the Law Enforcement Code of Ethics as a guide for decision making.
Demonstrate being able to graduate from your law enforcement training program.

Ms. Zuniga graduated from the Basic Police Academy at Napa Valley College yesterday. She quickly established herself as a role model for other students in her class and was selected by her peers and the academy staff to be a permanent squad leader. She has a solid track record of making ethical decisions and conducting herself in a consistently professional and disciplined manner. “I have achieved many goals in the police academy. I never thought it would be this tough to go through training, both physically and mentally and I am proud to say that I have made it. I plan to continue being an effective role model as a lesbian by never letting go of my morals and ethics. I will continue to be an effective leader in the agency that I work in and always set my standards high for others to follow. I will stay true to myself and always do what is right. I will never hide who I truly am and I will stand proud” Zuniga said. “I’m so proud to present this ‘first of its kind’ scholarship to such a fine young woman” said Greg Miraglia, founder and President of Out to Protect Incorporated.

Out To Protect Incorporated was founded in March of 2009 by Greg Miraglia, author of “Coming Out From Behind The Badge,” a book for and about LGBT law enforcement professionals who have come out on the job. Miraglia said, “The most effective way to eliminate homophobia in law enforcement is for outstanding role models like Julianne Zuniga to demonstrate that members of the LGBT community can work effectively as law enforcement professionals.



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Outbeat Now! – Sunday, May 23, 2010, 8PM to 9PM PST

Featuring stories about Chief Susan Jones of the Healdsburg Police Department who is retiring after 30 years on the job and about the LAPD’s move of their youth program away from the Boy Scouts of America in order to be inclusive of LGBT youth. We will also feature a live interview with cadets from the Napa Police Academy who will talk about their research project on the Transgender Community.

Outbeat Radio Comes Out From Behind The Badge, May 30, 2010 8PM to 9PM PST

This is a special one-hour show all about how LGBT law enforcement officers who are “out” on the job. We will hear from officers of all ages from around the country about their experience on the job. The show will also feature a close look at the homophobia that still exists in law enforcement and how training is changing to prevent it.

Outbeat Radio is a weekly show airing exclusively on KRCB Radio in Santa Rosa, California. Anyone can listen online from anywhere in the world at www.krcb.org. Learn more about these shows at www.comingoutfrombehindthebadge.com and at www.outbeatyouth.com.

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Listen online from anywhere in the world at www.krcb.org or if you live in the Santa Rosa, California area, tune in at 91.1 FM.

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We will feature more about how LGBT law enforcement officers are becoming more visible on the job next month as we honor LGBT law enforcement professionals during National Law Enforcement Month. Check back for more details about our radio show special.

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“Outbeat Radio Comes Out From Behind The Badge” was produced exclusively for KRCB Radio of Santa Rosa and will air on Sunday, May 30, 2010 at 8PM PST. You are invited to attend a special preview and discussion about this show at 4PM on Saturday, May 15, 2010 at the A Different Light Bookstore, located at 489 Castro Street in San Francisco. This even will feature several of the officers interviewed in the show. Mr. Miraglia will also be signing copies of his book, “Coming Out From Behind The Badge.” A meet and greet will follow this event at Toad Hall.

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Something new to law enforcement? No way. It’s just becoming more visible and gay and lesbian officers are making themselves more visible on the job. Homophobia is a problem in the vast majority of law enforcement agencies and has been present within the culture for decades. Only now are individuals standing up, coming out, and saying we’ve had enough and it’s time for a change.

Look for more from us about this topic in a special program we are premiering next month on KRCB Radio. More details to follow.

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The answer here is simple. Eliminate DADT and let’s get on with the military’s more important mission.

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“WASHINGTON – The military’s top uniformed officer declared Tuesday that gays should be allowed to serve openly in uniform, arguing that it is “the right thing to do.” Adm. Mike Mullen’s statement was the strongest yet from the uniformed military on this volatile issue, although he stressed that he was “speaking for myself and myself only.” He told the Senate Armed Services Committee Tuesday he is deeply troubled by a policy that forces people to ‘lie about who they are in order to defend their fellow citizens.’”

Herein lies the problem exactly and in law enforcement I can tell you that a DADT culture is very much alive and well.  In fact, I talked with an officer this week who works for a rural department in northern California.  He described for me the dilemma he faces every day at work when he is forced by the power of the agency culture to hide who he is in lieu of facing rejection.  It’s so wrong.

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It simply doesn’t work to say in the work place, “look, I don’t care if you’re gay, just keep it to yourself.”  In fact, doing so causes a gay officer to lie every Monday morning when asked by their straight peers, “so, what did you do this weekend?”  The real danger for closeted law enforcement personnel who are oppressed with a “don’t ask, don’t tell” culture is that they are forced to make a decision about whether to lie and risk being terminated for dishonesty or to come out and risk being rejected by their peers or even fired for simply being who they are.

I believe the problems created by the military’s official “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy extend beyond the military base.  This policy too is reinforcing a negative and damaging aspect of law enforcement culture that must be ended.  I believe it is much more important for a police officer to be known and trusted to be always truthful in both his or her personal and official life than it is to keep sexual orientation in the closet for whatever unexplainable purpose that might serve.

Now would be another great opportunity to write your representatives and demand they get rid of “don’t ask, don’t tell.”  Want to know more?  Click here to read about some of the successful military personnel who were fired for being who they are.

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I am one of the members of the Board of Directors for the Matthew Shepard Foundation.  I got involved with the Foundation in 2001 after meeting Judy Shepard.  Since that time, I’ve watched this organization do some incredible work not only helping to educate legislators about hate and hate crimes, but also to support young people through Matthewsplace.com.  Even though we have federal hate crimes law now in place, the law alone will not stop hate.  The Matthew Shepard Foundation is poised to deliver powerful educational program designed to combat hate.

Please take a moment to review the information about this grant opportunity and to vote for the Matthew Shepard Foundation.  The deadline is January 22, 2010.

Click Here To Learn More

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We are applying for 501(c)(3) tax exempt status so that donations we collect will be tax deductible. Our organization will be comprised entirely of volunteers. Not one dollar of donated money will go to pay a salary. Our intent is to devote 90% or more of every donated dollar to scholarships. The remaining amount will be used to promote this program and our educational efforts. It is my hope that every working GLBT member of law enforcement will contribute to the future of law enforcement by investing in this scholarship program. My dream would be to build an endowment of sufficient size to make this scholarship program self-supporting. All of these efforts will be developed and guided by a very talented Board of Directors. My partner, Tony Pennacchio, who is a professional educator will serve as the Treasurer. Mr. Damien Sandoval, Director of the Police Academy at Napa Valley College, and Officer Ben Smith of the San Francisco Police Department will serve as Directors.

We will invite applications from “out” GLBT law enforcement students from throughout the United States. Our board of directors will review the applications and make awards based on those applicants who best meet our selection criteria. Our goal this year is to provide two $1000 scholarships.

You can start supporting this effort immediately by making a donation – CLICK HERE. You can also support our efforts by purchasing logo items from one of our two online stores. CLICK HERE for the new Out To Protect store.

To stay informed about how this project develops, please join our mailing list by CLICKING HERE.

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